from bimbo to corporate woman
i'm moved on to watchin the apprentice now. it's so exciting. the good thing bout watching shows at the end is not having to wait each week. i just watched 10 episodes in a day. almost back to back. i know, i know. lifeless.
it's such a good show. really keeps you on your toes. so far, i saw three people that i think are really good. i hope they could all win, but too bad, he only hires one.
one thing i noticed is that everyone there is so confident of themselves. actually, that's putting it in a nice way. basically they are just so full of themselves and can never accept that they were wrong or that they just suck. even after they are told thier faults and have been fired, they still can blame other people for their loss. every single loser is like that.
which makes me think. we don't see our faults. we won't actually know what is wrong with us until someone tells us that. so what's my fault? i wish i could be someone else for a day and see that myself. rather than people telling it to me in my face. hurts less. but i really do wonder.
these people in lse. there's this quality in all those who get a job. it's confidence in a way i guess. and motivation. i see it in them but i don't see it in me. certainly not the motivation bit. but some people tell me that i can get it and all i have to do is apply. i just want to see what they see cause i don't see anything at all.
i'm just in a very confused state. i don't know what i want, what i should do. i don't know where i'd rather be in a year's time. i feel that there will be people dissapointed whichever way i go. the most important people. so what do i do? who will be most dissapointed? me?
i don't know which i'm more afraid of. making a life changing decision or not even trying for fear of it.
i'm being dramatic. i've been told i sound hopeless sometimes. i'm glad to know that i can at least express myself on paper. but if i really do sound depressed, you don't have to call me straight away to see if i'm alright. i'm fine. i still have a job.
but thanks for the thought.
it's such a good show. really keeps you on your toes. so far, i saw three people that i think are really good. i hope they could all win, but too bad, he only hires one.
one thing i noticed is that everyone there is so confident of themselves. actually, that's putting it in a nice way. basically they are just so full of themselves and can never accept that they were wrong or that they just suck. even after they are told thier faults and have been fired, they still can blame other people for their loss. every single loser is like that.
which makes me think. we don't see our faults. we won't actually know what is wrong with us until someone tells us that. so what's my fault? i wish i could be someone else for a day and see that myself. rather than people telling it to me in my face. hurts less. but i really do wonder.
these people in lse. there's this quality in all those who get a job. it's confidence in a way i guess. and motivation. i see it in them but i don't see it in me. certainly not the motivation bit. but some people tell me that i can get it and all i have to do is apply. i just want to see what they see cause i don't see anything at all.
i'm just in a very confused state. i don't know what i want, what i should do. i don't know where i'd rather be in a year's time. i feel that there will be people dissapointed whichever way i go. the most important people. so what do i do? who will be most dissapointed? me?
i don't know which i'm more afraid of. making a life changing decision or not even trying for fear of it.
i'm being dramatic. i've been told i sound hopeless sometimes. i'm glad to know that i can at least express myself on paper. but if i really do sound depressed, you don't have to call me straight away to see if i'm alright. i'm fine. i still have a job.
but thanks for the thought.
7 comments:
There is lil need of fear, when you are know that you are being backed up at every step you take. No matter the decision, I'm sure everyone would try their very best to give support and encouragement along the way. I know I would. I believe in your potential and know that you are made for great things. So be all that you can be and live life without regrets. Love you.
if that's the case, i guess u have to decide on what you want and not what ppl want u to do. But I know its always easier said than done. But make a decision and stick to it ok. You will be a great person one day no matter where you are, u will. i can see it in you. :))
aww....so sweet!!!! :D
thanks lisa!
how come i dun get the "aww .. so sweet comment" boo.. i not sweet enough arr...soobz
haha.. really? haven't i told you so? we've spoken so much bout it.
aww...love you =)
heya.. in warped sorta way it might make you feel better when you know that there are many people who are as confused as you are about life, the future and all that jazz. in fact they might be even more confused. misery loves company, i tell ya :P have a good christmas and dress warmly.
in a way, i wish that i could live life not caring and not bothering and have everyday like now. waking, eating, watching tv and sleeping. but then again, i'd most prolly kill myself in less than a year.
you'll find out what u're gonna do. not cause you know, but cause u have to =P that's life. but hope u like whatever it is u choose to do.
thanks for the company. have a smashing new year and keep cool ;)
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